"Is butter a carb?”
"I want my pink shirt back!”
"You wanna do something fun? Wanna go to Taco Bell?"
"That's so fetch!"
"So, you agree? You think you're really pretty?"
"It's like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it's going to rain."
"You go, Glenn Coco!"
"She doesn't even go here!"
"I'm not a regular mom. I'm a cool mom."
"Ex-boyfriends are off-limits to friends. That's just, like, the rules of feminism."
"Whatever. I'm getting cheese fries."
"Raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by Regina George."
"On Wednesdays, we wear pink."
"Your mom's chest hair."
"I can't go to Taco Bell. I'm on an all-carb diet. God, Karen, you are so stupid!"
"That's the ugliest effing skirt I've ever seen."
"I want to lose three pounds."
"I know I may seem like I was being a bitch, but that's only because I was acting like a bitch."
"The limit does not exist." —Cady Heron
"I'm a mouse. Duh." —Karen Smith
"You can't sit with us!"
"Boo, you whore."
"In the real world, Halloween is when kids dress up and beg for candy. But in the girl world, Halloween is the one time of year a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girl can say anything about it."
"I can't go out tonight. *fake coughs* I'm sick.”
"You smell like a baby prostitute."
"It's not my fault you're, like, in love with me or something."
"If you're from Africa, why are you white?"
"Oh my god Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white."
"She's a life ruiner. She ruins people's lives."
"Your hair looks so sexy pushed back. Cady, will you please tell him his hair looks sexy pushed back."
"Why should Caesar get to stomp around like a giant, while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? What's so great about Caesar? Hmm? Brutus is just as cute as Caesar. Brutus is just as smart as Caesar. People totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar. And when did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody, huh? Because that’s not what Rome is about. We should totally just stab Caesar!"
"Your face smells like peppermint."
"I know she's kind of socially retarded and weird, but she's my friend. So, just promise me you won't make fun of her."
"Did you have an awesome time? Did you drink awesome shooters, listen to awesome music, and then just sit around and soak up each other's awesomeness?"
"There are two kinds of evil people in this world. Those who do evil stuff and those who see evil stuff being done and don't try to stop it."
"It's October 3rd."
"Can I get you guys anything? Some snacks? A condom? Let me know! Oh, God love ya."
"Don't have sex. Because you will get pregnant, and die. Don't have sex in the missionary position. Don't have sex standing up, just don't do it. Promise?"
"She's so pathetic. Let me tell you something about Janis Ian. We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It's so embarrassing. I don't even, whatever. So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend Kyle who was totally gorgeous but then he moved to Indiana, and Janis was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow her off to hang out with Kyle, she'd be like, why didn't you call me back? And I'd be like, why are you so obsessed with me?"
"That's why her hair is so big. It's full of secrets."
"Grool. I meant to say great but then I started to say cool."
"So you have your cousins, and then you have your first cousins, and then you have your second cousins."
"Made out with a hot dog? Oh my God that was one time!"
"One time, she punched me in the face. It was awesome."